[taco]

The land of pipe dreams

By GREG WESTON




Several thousand hardcore New Democratic Party thinkers will gather in Quebec City this weekend to debate and vote on a myriad of, um, interesting resolutions on everything from legalizing pot to criminalizing Canadian troops in Afghanistan.

Those propositions that pass the assembled masses at the biennial gabfest will automatically become official NDP policy.

Leafing through the 300-odd pages of draft resolutions mischievously posted on the website of Conservative blogger Stephen Taylor (stephentaylor.ca), most people not currently in hallucinogen therapy may be excused for wondering if Jack Layton is really the Wizard of Oz.

Left up to the NDP grassroots, to paraphrase, what a wonderful world it would be.

First and foremost, Canada would immediately withdraw from Afghanistan. (But before that, a bunch of Dippers were yesterday forced to withdraw wording in a resolution that referred to Canadian troops propping up "a U.S. puppet government of human-rights abusers, drug traffickers and warlords ... and ... acting like terrorists, destroying communities, killing and maiming innocent people.")

Failing a voluntary cut-and-run, the NDP will "seek redress in the appropriate court to have our illegal occupation of Afghanistan cease."

In future, forget about Canadian peacekeeping missions anywhere -- the NDP "rejects the use of military intervention as a tool for peace."

While they are at it, the Dippers would get on the phone to George Bush to demand the U.S. withdraw from Iraq. Shivers in the White House.

Oh, by the way, Mr. President, while we've got you on the line, Canada is walking away from all of its major trade agreements with the U.S. and the rest of the world: NAFTA, GAT, the WTO -- you name it, the NDP hates it.

In the Middle East, Canada would impose a trade embargo against Israel and provide buckets of foreign aid to the Palestinians until everyone is happy.

Closer to home, the state would immediately expropriate all of the Canadian assets of all of the oil companies -- without compensation -- and turn them over to the lucky petroleum workers otherwise left behind by the fall of communism.

But let's not stop there. In the land of socialist dreams, the NDP "is committed to implementing social ownership" (read nationalization) of just about every major economic sector including banking, health care, insurance, manufacturing and (gulp) mass media.

At our borders, the NDP would immediately scrap any further implementation of the so-called "Smart Regulation" reforms aimed at facilitating domestic and international trade, presumably in favor of a return to useless red tape.

Forget about arming customs guards and demanding passports at all Canada-U.S. crossing points -- the NDP would put the border in the hands of "local communities."

In the Utopian Canada of NDP grassroots, pot smoking and hookers would be legalized, mandatory prison sentences would be outlawed, and we'd all take to the streets every November in a special national "Day of Remembrance" for transsexuals.

Development would be frozen until further notice; there would never be another post office closure.

Every riding would elect two MPs -- a man and a woman -- to ensure gender equality in parliament, and the country would be declared a republic, in part because "Queen Elizabeth II was not born nor has ever lived in Canada."

And finally this: "Whereas the NDP had its origin in the minds and hearts of people who wanted to make the world a better place ... therefore be it resolved that in the society proposed by the NDP there shall be at a minimum:

"Total elimination of spin doctors, consultants and speech writers, so that all policy arises from a genuine concern for justice, and so that tax dollars are spent on programs instead of a manipulation of the masses."

All in favour?

[TacoSusio]

Originally Posted by taco

"Total elimination of spin doctors, consultants and speech writers, so that all policy arises from a genuine concern for justice, and so that tax dollars are spent on programs instead of a manipulation of the masses."

That last one sounds awesome! Can you imagine what bush would say if he controlled his own mouth?!

[Crash]

In the Utopian Canada of NDP grassroots, pot smoking and hookers would be legalized, mandatory prison sentences would be outlawed, and we'd all take to the streets every November in a special national "Day of Remembrance" for transsexuals.

Ill sign up for that.

sounds like they let a good idea get out of hand though, and now theyre just bordering insanity. though i tend to lean to the liberal side of things, much of what theyre talking about here is just ricidulous. theyre going to end trade with the wealthiest nation on earth which just happens to border them? I HOPE they try that.

[TheBagman]

No thanks. Socialism is bad kids.

And, there are many American Liberals that want the same shit. Hell, Im all for liberal personal rights, but when it comes to foreign policy, and economics, give me conservatism.

[Slutter McGee]

Originally Posted by da420

No thanks. Socialism is bad kids.

And, there are many American Liberals that want the same shit. Hell, Im all for liberal personal rights, but when it comes to foreign policy, and economics, give me conservatism.

da is a good little libertarian.

My major problem in with Canada is their regulation of free speech. They spout off progressivism while really supporting totalitarianism.

Slutter McGee

[Crash]

Originally Posted by Slutter McGee

da is a good little libertarian.

My major problem in with Canada is their regulation of free speech. They spout off progressivism while really supporting totalitarianism.

Slutter McGee

Canada in itself doesnt make sense. Shit up until a few months ago I thought Canada was a soverign nation

[TheBagman]

Canada is the enemy. Fox News anchor Neil Cavuto says so.

[Slutter McGee]

I'm confused



Slutter McGee

[gilligan]

canada is our 51st state.

[TacoSusio]

it's more like a misbehaving possession like puerto rico.