[TheBagman]

Scientists: Al Gore primary cause of global warming

By Calla Dewilde
Environment Reporter

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. -- A panel of the world's leading climatologists released a "conclusive" study today showing that he existence of former Vice President Al Gore is "the primary cause of global warming."

Tempchart_3 "Ninety-eight percent of global warming can be attributed solely to the existence of Al Gore," said Massachusetts Institute of Technology climatologist Dhananjay Wilson.

"Global temperatures really began to take off in 1948 -- the year Al Gore was born. With highly sensitive devices made possible by a federal earmark Gore himself inserted into a military spending bill back in 1991, we've been able to trace almost all of the rise in the earth's temperature directly to Gore's own physical existence. We think it has something to do with his unstoppable, seething anger. The remaining 2 percent we think is attributable to Gore's dog, Shiloh."

Gore was at a United Nations conference on global climate change when the report was released. Asked for comment, he called the report inconclusive and said scientists remained divided on the cause of global warming. He blamed the rise in the earth's temperatures on cigarettes, lava lamps and "that damned Ralph Nader."

In the scientific community, however, the findings immediately drew widespread consensus. Scientists worldwide called for an immediate halt to all Al Gore emissions, as well as a global treaty to prevent the creation of any more Al Gores in the future. White House Press Secretary Tony Snow said President Bush would immediately sign such a treaty the moment it settled upon his desk.

http://gunsnbutter.typepad.com/gunsn...ists_al_g.html

[Silent Steve]

at least he gave us the internet

[TheBagman]

[TacoSusio]

when are we going to address a serial issue, such as finding and stopping the man-bear-pig?