[daiseyduked]

2 Newfie's go camping

Two Newfies go camping and pack a cooler with sandwiches and beer.

After three days of walking, they arrive at a great spot, but realize they've forgotten a bottle opener.

The first Newfie turns to the second and says, "You've gotta go back and get the opener or else we have no beer".

No way," says the second. "By the time I get back, you will have eaten all the food"

"I promise I won't," says the Newfie. "Just hurry!"

Nine full days pass and there's still no sign of the second Newfie. Exasperated and starving, the first Newfie digs into the sandwiches.

Suddenly, the second Newfie pops out from behind a rock and yells,

"I knew it !! .....! I'm not fucking going!!!!"

[daiseyduked]

idk, but i friggin laugh every time i read that lol

[AnnonUSA]

I love it....LMAO

[Unholy]

Hahaha

[stoned jude]

this really happen?

[daiseyduked]

hehehe with a newfie...who knows lol.....good peeps mind you

[taco]

What?!??! Are you speaking canadian again? What's a newfie?

[AnnonUSA]

A married couple has been stranded on a deserted island for many years. One
day another man washes up on shore. He and the wife become attracted to each other right away, but realize they must be creative if they are to engage in any hanky-panky. The husband, however, is very glad to see the second man there.

"Now we will be able to have three people doing eight hour shifts in the
watchtower, rather than two people doing 12-hour shifts."

The newcomer is only too happy to help and in fact volunteers to do the
first shift. He climbs up the tower to stand watch. Soon the couple on the
ground are placing stones in a circle to make a fire to cook supper. The
newcomer yells down, "Hey, no screwing!"

They yell back, "We're not screwing!"

A few minutes later they start to put driftwood into the stone circle. Again
the second man yells down, "Hey, no screwing!"

Again they yell back, "We're not screwing!"

Later they are putting palm leaves on the roof of their shack to patch
leaks. Once again the second man yells down, "Hey, I said no screwing!"

They yell back, "We're not screwing!" Eventually the shift is over and the
second man climbs down from the tower to be replaced by the husband. He's
not even halfway up before the wife and her new friend are hard at it.

The husband looks out from the tower and says, "Son-of-a-gun. From up here
it DOES look like they're screwing."

[TacoSusio]

^LMAO!

Yeah, what the hell is a Newfie?

[daiseyduked]

sry guys, newfies are peeps from newfoundland....dontcha know?

[dan, muthafucka!]

eh der bae dontcha know. gettin dem fish all fried up eh. jokes were pretty damn funny lol. as long as we're on the joke topic i'll bring out a gem i know we've all heard before:

man's stranded on a deserted island with a dog and a goat. he's been there for a while, and he's missing the poontang so he tries to fornicate with the bearded one. unfortunately, the dog is protective of the goat and threatens to bite stranded one's dick off if he tries any funny business. stranded one is exasperated. one day he spots a gorgeous woman being dragged down by the undertow off the coast, and he fishes her out of the drink. she is so happy to be alive that she says to the smelly old fart she says: "ohh thank you so much for saving my life! I'll do anything you desire in return ". stranded one of course responds: "yeah, hold the dog so i can fuck the goat!" this joke was no doubt first told by a drunken irishman as the stranded one has no conception of jerking off and is also willing to fuck a goat.

[elroypornlab]

HaHa