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12-29-2006, 01:19 PM
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| 20 oz soda for an extra $1.99  FilLaB0NGo7 is Offline Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: InsaneTerrain
Posts: 5,276
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    | 7 Simple Rules to Sleeping with a Different Woman Every Night 7 Simple Rules to Sleeping with a Different Woman Every Night by iceman101184 DudeMan Rants - Posted at 07/28/2006 07:43 AM | Read 3697 times | Post Comments 1. Don’t ever, ever let the girl know your real name and phone number. If you give her your real name and number, then she will be calling looking for you, and you definitely don’t want that. Make up a name, and number, but don’t forget what you came up with, because if you can’t remember and she catches you, you will not be getting laid that night. And make it a cool name too... not something normal like Nate or Jack. In my ventures I have found that many names work, but for me these three names equal guarenteed ass: Trey- Short and Smoooth Sabastian- A little fruity, but very affective Parker- A very odd name, but for some reason it has never failed This is a very important rule and must not be taken lightly. This is for your own good. Unless you want a bunch of girls you never want to talk to again calling you all the time. Not fun. I did this when I first started out in college, I gave out my ream name and number. Then I had to change my number and switch schools. I couldn’t take it, too many phone calls, angry ones, sad ones, confused ones, pregnant ones... every kind you can think of. Just be careful and use a fake name and number. 2. Wingmen are good, but not necessary. A wingman would be good, they’re a lot of help, but you don’t always need one. You can get a girl on your own, or can you? Anyway, you have to be suave and smooth. Say things like "So, I want to know more about you... where did you grow up?" Pretending you actually care about this bitch is incredibly important. Than, try to relate your life to whatever the hell she is talking about "Ohh, you ride horses... they are such beuatiful animals... my family has owned horses for years." No lie is to great... becuase remember, you are going to be in and out of this girl like a fast food restuarant and will never have to back up any of the claims you are making. My moto is the more you lie, the more she will want to sleep with you. Know what you’re talking about however. Don’t talk about topics that you have no idea about. This will expose your disguise. Be careful what you talk about, make sure you did your homework before hand. If you do need the assistance of a wingman, make sure he has read and knows by heart The Tank’s “How to be a good fucking Wingman.” 3. Know shoes and perfume. If you know the major shoe brands and perfumes, AND you can point them out, then you’re all set. This is a tip that I feel many of you will underestimate, but let me make it clear for you becuase your an idiot... Knowing shoe and perfume brands will get you ass. Study, make sure you know this stuff. If you can tell a girl what kind of shoes she is wearing or what kind of perfume she has on, then you’ll be so much more welcome to her. And if you know both, then you’re almost guaranteed to get laid that night. Say things like "Ohhh your wearing the new Tommy fragrance... mmmm, very nice." Just don’t fuck it up and tell her she is wearing the JC Penny perfume when she just put on some fancey Gucci shit. On the other hand, if you’re not exactly sure what kind of shoes or perfume she is wearing, do not try and tell her, chances are you will be wrong, and she will hate you for it. No sex for you. 4. Alcohol is key. Not necessarily a lot. You don’t want rape charges on you and you also do not want her throwing up on your dick... beleive me, that is a mistake you only make once in your life (Note: I have made this mistake about 4...5 times). But enough alcohol so that she opens up, not her legs quite yet, but she puts her guards down and is more open to talk to you and get to know you a little better. The best is when you’re talking to a girl, and she finishes a drink, buy her the drink she was just having. Don’t ask her what it was, just know. But if you don’t know, ask her in a conversation, not flat out. Just so it doesn’t sound gay, which you are because you don’t know shit. 5. STD’s are a big no-no. And by this, I mean you. I am not giving you tips on how to get laid so that you can infect the entire female population. If you have STDs then stop reading this... you already know how to get laid. If you do read this and use my methods, I will find you and kill you. Or maybe I'll just let the STD’s kill you, or at least let you be in overwhelming pain for the rest of your unimportant, dull, itchy, boring, disease filled life. 6. Your clothing can’t be shitty. You have to look respectable and not like a bum. Now if you’re poor like me, getting some nice clothes might be a little out of your price range. The Salvation Army is a great way to get a nice set of clothes. Now if you were really considering getting an outfit from the Salvation Army so you can impress the ladies and get laid every night by a different girl, then you seriously need some help, and you definitely will not be getting any girls. Actually, go ahead, go out and try and pick up the girls. That will make it so much easier for the rest of us. They will think you are so pathetic. Which will in turn make us look so much better, and make it easier for us to get some. So my instruction for Number 6 is to get all your clothes at the Salvations Army, chicks dig that kind of stuff. Oh, and make sure you tell them where you got your outfit too. Guaranteed sex. Haha. 7. Don’t go to your place. When the night is coming to a close, and you’re going to start heading home with your “date,” make sure you go to her place. You definitely do not want her knowing where you live. This is just like Number 1. Same reasoning applies here. If you do not follow this rule, then there will be girls knocking on your door when you don’t want them to. For example. It’s Friday night, and you have a different girl there, and they’re banging on the door pissed! What are you going to do? You’re screwed, well not literally, but I think you know what I mean. So the point of Number 7 is, go to her place! Maybe she has roommates and they like having fun too. Now even though this is a highly improbable scenario, it still exists. But it is for another time. For now, concentrate on going to her place. Good luck and happy fucking… *On a side note, what I now do regularly, that you might be interested in, is this. The next morning, when you wake, before your partner (this is a must), grab a couple of bills out of her pocketbook. Not all of it, that’ll give you away. Like 40, 50 bucks. She will most likely think she spent it on drinks the night before. This is where Number 4 plays a part. Have her buy some drinks too, this way she remembers buying some drinks, but just doesn’t remember how many. It’s not like you’re stealing from her anyway. It’s daddy’s money, he’s the one you’re screwing. Well, you’re screwing his daughter, but you’re taking his money. So it’s a double score, if you play your cards right. Good luck… http://mrdudeman.com/view_dudeman_rant.php?rant_id=113 | ||||
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12-29-2006, 01:29 PM
| #2 | ||||
| internet meme  pube is Offline Join Date: Nov 2005
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  | Re: 7 Simple Rules to Sleeping with a Different Woman Every Night are you kidding filla? this is like those books or pheromones you order out of the back of comic books. | ||||
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12-29-2006, 03:02 PM
| #4 | ||||
| He makes me all tingley inside;)<3  daiseyduked is Offline Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: canada
Posts: 4,818
MIIDAJ? Scrill: 67,640
   | Re: 7 Simple Rules to Sleeping with a Different Woman Every Night umm ok..number 1 i do. and can agree to that. now the others..........lol idk.....they'd have to be drunk to fall for all that. i can spot a loser a mile away. i know whats up. i'm one step ahead of them  | ||||
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12-29-2006, 03:54 PM
| #5 | ||||
| the szooze button on a smoke alarm  TacoSusio is Offline Join Date: May 2006 Location: in my own little world
Posts: 5,683
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| Re: 7 Simple Rules to Sleeping with a Different Woman Every Night Originally Posted by daiseyduked
do you realize how many achiever hearts you just broke?
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12-29-2006, 04:01 PM
| #6 | ||||
| senile, amoral crackpot  dan, muthafucka! is Offline Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Toronto
Posts: 2,440
MIIDAJ? Scrill: 44,919
 | Re: 7 Simple Rules to Sleeping with a Different Woman Every Night Stoner version: 1) move to the middle east 2) start a harem | ||||
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12-30-2006, 06:19 PM
| #7 | ||||
| Jesus died for my sins  Adrian is Offline Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Denver,Co.
Posts: 22
MIIDAJ? Scrill: 5,250
  | Re: 7 Simple Rules to Sleeping with a Different Woman Every Night Dude funny ass thread but do you think that stuff really works.We need like a guy hand book for getting chicks | ||||
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12-30-2006, 06:34 PM
| #8 | ||||
| senile, amoral crackpot dan, muthafucka! is Offline Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Toronto
Posts: 2,440
MIIDAJ? Scrill: 44,919
| Re: 7 Simple Rules to Sleeping with a Different Woman Every Night seriously filla, how the fuck am i supposed to read all that off my forearm when i'm ten drinks deep? | ||||
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12-31-2006, 01:32 PM
| #9 | ||||
| est. May 8, 1986  modest moose is Offline Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Under the boardwalk.
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 | Re: 7 Simple Rules to Sleeping with a Different Woman Every Night I shop at the Salvation Army. | ||||
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01-01-2007, 05:33 PM
| #10 | ||||
| Jesus died for my sins Adrian is Offline Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Denver,Co.
Posts: 22
MIIDAJ? Scrill: 5,250
| Re: 7 Simple Rules to Sleeping with a Different Woman Every Night No you have to have this by memory and then you have to remeber it 10 drinks deep wich will suck so much | ||||
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01-01-2007, 05:39 PM
| #11 | ||||
| Brofessor  TheBagman is Offline Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: In the desert on a horse with no name.
Posts: 24,994
MIIDAJ? Scrill: 3,000,002,019,187
 | Re: 7 Simple Rules to Sleeping with a Different Woman Every Night Originally Posted by modest moose
That's hot.
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01-01-2007, 05:41 PM
| #12 | ||||
| 20 oz soda for an extra $1.99 FilLaB0NGo7 is Offline Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: InsaneTerrain
Posts: 5,276
MIIDAJ? Scrill: 400,035
| Re: 7 Simple Rules to Sleeping with a Different Woman Every Night hell yeah, i popped wood just thinking about all there quality apparel | ||||
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01-01-2007, 05:43 PM
| #13 | ||||
| Brofessor TheBagman is Offline Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: In the desert on a horse with no name.
Posts: 24,994
MIIDAJ? Scrill: 3,000,002,019,187
| Re: 7 Simple Rules to Sleeping with a Different Woman Every Night It's some ballin' shit, son! | ||||
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01-01-2007, 07:11 PM
| #14 | ||||
| senile, amoral crackpot dan, muthafucka! is Offline Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Toronto
Posts: 2,440
MIIDAJ? Scrill: 44,919
| Re: 7 Simple Rules to Sleeping with a Different Woman Every Night i keep finding wicked suits at salvation army.. people walk up to me while i eat apples and they ask "hey bud, that armani?" and i give a hearty chuckle and finish my apples. they have great apples in the store next to my local salvation army | ||||
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01-01-2007, 11:29 PM
| #15 | ||
| One beer away from being an asshole  Jeff Bebe is Offline Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 371
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