[Boondock]

[MexicanGreen]

poaned

[sir_smoke_alot]

hahaha

[TheBagman]

posted it before

[AnnonUSA]

The ultimate link....

http://www.shibumi.org/eoti.htm

[AnnonUSA]

Pretty funny shit....


Subject: If you could live forever, would you and why? (and other
interesting quotes)



Answer: "I would not live forever,

because we should not live forever,

because if we were supposed to

live forever, then we would live

forever, but we cannot live forever,

which is why I would not live forever,"

--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.



"Whenever I watch TV and see those

poor starving kids all over the world,

I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love

to be skinny like that, but not with

all those flies and death and stuff,"

--Mariah Carey



"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've

lost a very important part of your life,"

--Brooke Shields, during an interview to

become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking

campaign.



"I've never had major knee surgery on any

other part of my body,"

--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky

basketball forward.



"Outside of the killings, Washington has

one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"

--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.



"I'm not going to have some reporters

pawing through our papers. We are the

president,"

--Hillary Clinton commenting on the release

of subpoenaed documents.



"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be

kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just

the one to do it,"

--A congressional candidate in Texas.



"I don't feel we did wrong in taking

this great country away from them.

There were great numbers of people who

needed new land, and the Indians were

selfishly trying to keep it for themselves."

--John Wayne



"Half this game is ninety percent mental."

--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark



"It isn't pollution that's harming the

environment. It's the impurities in our

air and water that are doing it."

--Al Gore, Vice President



"I love California. I practically grew

up in Phoenix."

--Dan Quayle



"It's no exaggeration to say that

the undecideds could go one way or another"

--George Bush, US President



"We've got to pause and ask ourselves:

How much clean air do we need?"

--Lee Iacocca



"I was provided with additional input

that was radically different from the

truth. I assisted in furthering that

version,"

--Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra

testimony.



"The word "genius" isn't applicable in

football. A genius is a guy like Norman

Einstein,"

--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback &

sports analyst.



"We don't necessarily discriminate. We

simply exclude certain types of people."

--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.



"If we don't succeed, we run the risk

of failure."

--Bill Clinton, President



"We are ready for an unforeseen event

that may or may not occur."

--Al Gore, VP



"Traditionally, most of Australia's

imports come from overseas."

--Keppel Enderbery



"Your food stamps will be stopped

effective March 1992 because we received

notice that you passed away. May God

bless you. You may reapply if there is

a change in your circumstances."

--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South

Carolina



"If somebody has a bad heart, they can

plug this jack in at night as they go

to bed and it will monitor their

heart throughout the night. And the

next morning, when they wake up dead,

there'll be a record."

--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

[Boondock]

those quotes are funny as shit man


I'm not going to have some reporters

pawing through our papers. We are the

president,"

--Hillary Clinton commenting on the release

of subpoenaed documents

^^^^^hahahahahahahah

[stoned jude]

ya these are funny