[scarymoose]

a friends moms calling me at 5:30 in the morning because he never came home last nght
the again at 5:45
then again at 6
then again at 6:30

[gilligan]

the fact we haven't had a good priest and a rabbi joke in forever.

[The UPS Man]

you must have been driving him around town last night?

[The UPS Man]

by the time call #3 came in you should have said you guys got hopped up on acid and decided to light some fireworks off from inside the car, and one hit him in the eye causing instant blindness, and on the way to the hospital you crashed into a bicyclists and killed him on impact, you are all tripping extreme balls and decide the best thing to do is throw him into Lake Ontario, when you get there you accidentally throw your blind buddy in the lake and he can't swim, the current is too much, you try to make a rope by tieing your belts together but all your friends are wiggers so there pants are hanging down by there asses with no belts. you then steal a jetski from a nearby camp, you are riding double with the dead guy on back looking for a place to dump him, when you realize you just ran over your blind buddy and half of his face is in front of you and the other half is behind, you then call 9-1-1, and one lone star rochester police officer rolls up smoking a cigarette and shoots everyone but you and tells you if you ever mention it he's going to cut your penis off and use it to cover his own penis like a vagina blanket type deal that buffalow bob did to joe dirt about 37 minutes into the movie. thend

[scarymoose]

that is one very long sentence

[The UPS Man]

that's how I roll.

[TheDriver]

fuck your gears

[BigRon]

Originally Posted by gilligan

the fact we haven\\'t had a good priest and a rabbi joke in forever.

Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what portion of the weekly collection they kept for themselves. The first priest explained that he drew a circle on the ground, stepped a few paces back and pitched the money towards the circle. What landed in the circle he kept and what landed outside the circle god kept.

The second priest claimed that his method was almost the same, except that what landed outside the circle went to the priest and the money that landed inside the circle god kept.

The rabbi said,
"I've got you both beat. I throw the money into the air and what god wants, god takes."

[BigRon]

At the end of the tax year, the IRS sent an inspector to audit the books
of a synagogue. While he was checking the books, he turned to the Rabbi
and said, "I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the
candle drippings?"

"Good question," noted the Rabbi. "We save them up and send them back to
the candle
makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles."

"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question
had a
practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way: "What about all
these matzo
purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?"

"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, realizing that the inspector was trying to
trap him with an
unanswerable question. "We collect them and send back to the
manufacturers, and every now
and then they send a free box of matzo balls."

"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the
know-it-all
Rabbi. "Well, Rabbi," he went on, "What do you do with all the leftover
foreskins from
the circumcisions you perform?"

"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save up
all the
foreskins and send them to the IRS, and about once a year they send us a
complete dick."

[TheBagman]

lol Ron bustin out the Rabbi jokes.

[ßü††|맧]

YouTube Video

[elroypornlab]

Penis

[ßü††|맧]

Originally Posted by elroypornlab

Penis

Brilliant!