[IVY]

Fractured Dictionary


* Arbitrator \ar'-bi-tray-ter\: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's

* Avoidable \uh-voy'-duh-buhl\: What a bullfighter tries to do

* Baloney \buh-lo'-nee\: Where some hemlines fall

* Bernadette \burn'-a-det\: The act of torching a mortgage

* Burglarize \bur'-gler-ize\: What a crook sees with

* Control \kon-trol'\: A short, ugly inmate

* Counterfeiters \kown-ter-fit-ers\: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets

* Eclipse \i-klips'\: what an English barber does for a living

* Eyedropper \i'-drop-ur\: a clumsy ophthalmologist

* Heroes \hee'-rhos\: what a guy in a boat does

* Left Bank \left' bangk'\: what the robber did when his bag was full of loot

* Misty \mis'-tee\: How golfers create divots

* Paradox \par'-uh-doks\: two physicians

* Parasites \par'-uh-sites\: what you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower

* Pharmacist \farm'-uh-sist\: a helper on the farm

* Polarize \po'-lur-ize\: what penguins see with

* Primate \pri'-mat\: removing your spouse from in front of the TV

* Relief \ree-leef'\: what trees do in the spring

* Rubberneck \rub'-er-nek\: what you do to relax your wife

* Seamstress \seem'-stres\: describes 250 pounds in a size six

* Selfish \sel'-fish\: what the owner of a seafood store does

* Subdued \sub-dood'\: like, a guy, like, works on one of those, like, submarines, man

* Sudafed \sood'-a-fed\: bringing litigation against a government official